Tag-Archive for » music «

Friday, April 30th, 2010 | Author: Castallare

On special request from Posephus, I thought I’d include the tunes I was obsessing over as of late.

This week is the single busiest week of my whole entire life (not exaggerating) and, even though all the things I’ve been up to are proactive and forward-moving and positive and glee-inducing, I’ve still been in need of some sort of outlet/distraction. And, since RuPauls’ Drag Race ended in such a disaster, I thought I’d take a brief moment to compile a list or two for the sake of taking my mind off the insanity going on around me.

So, recently I’ve just started putting up a daily musical greeting as a Facebook status update and the week has been a little brighter as I’ve been delving back into my personal memory archives and pulling out the tunes that embellished an era. At the moment, the theme is mid-90’s r&b and, frankly, I could go on forever but then I’d start looking like one of those white kids they make fun of on StuffWhitePeopleLike.com under the “Black People Music that Black People Don’t Even Like Anymore” category. So I’m sticking to a few that changed things for me and then leaving it at that. I know I’m being mainstream and just scratching the surface; this isn’t an art exhibition after years of in depth research - it’s just me, posting slightly-forgotten videos to the delight of a few friends. Nothing serious.

But then I started thinking about expounding on this practice and bringing out a new theme every week, starting with “Early-90’s Dance Tracks” in celebration of all my friends who will be graduating next week. (There will be Crystal Waters and Cece Peniston and the Real McCoy. Get Excited.) And now, because my mind has started this weird obsession with this miniature, completely unnecessary and barely relevant project, I have pages of notes in different genres of 90’s music that I could use for, like, forever.

But knowing me, I really should just get all of it out there without trying to attempt a long-term commitment on a sudden, temporary idea.

so without further rambling ado, I give you the
SHAMELESS OBSCURE 90′S MUSIC EXPLORATION BY RANDOM CATEGORY Project

This installment is “Decent but forgettable alt-rock songs you’ll never think of right off”

The first section is “Little-Known Chick Rock tracks that weren’t terrible/pretentious.”
————————–
~ Letters to Cleo “Here and Now”
Love it. I just think it embodies the 1990’s as a girl. Completely

~ Anouk “Nobody’s Wife”
Say what you want about Alanis, Anouk was just perfect to scream along to and I sure did. I still do even though the lyrics don’t really apply anymore… but they did for a while. (Also, that video had to cost $10 at most. It’s TERRIBLE.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFuaFNQ8K5A

~ Holly McNarland “Elmo”
OhGoodLordinHeaven, after I saw McNarland on a side stage at Lilith Fair (just after K’s Choice!) I was hooked. I wailed along to this song every night for at least 6 months, like I was being paid for my performance. Even now I’ll crack her out and wail along, although I’m hardly able to conjure as much anger as I could when I was 15.

~ JoyDrop “Beautiful”
Oh God, I lived for this song (really more in 2000 but it counts) and all the symbolism it had in my deep, tortured adolescent existence. MAAAAUUGHH!
… anyway.
I liked it. I think it’s powerful and it speaks to every girl and it helped move me forward, even a little.

~Luscious Jackson “Naked Eye”
I don’t know any of the words except the chorus but she’s still magic. And I soooo wanted that haaaiir.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIAAx2vAxic
(Embedding disabled)

~ Jill Sobule “I Kissed a Girl”
Everyone was wigging out about Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” and I was kinda appalled because that song was SO 15 years ago. Stupid kids thinking they’re all radical and original…

~ Bif Naked “Moment of Weakness”
It’s obvious she wanted to be Gwen but this song was still pretty great

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWuddKPLXSw
(Embedding disabled)

~ And Marcheeba’s “Big Calm” album was the most important one in my late 90’s but “The Sea” got me the most.

(Not actual video but you muuuust liiiiisten. It’ll change you.)

——————————–

And then this section is “Pop-ish Dude Alt Rock Songs You’re Probably Going to go “AAwww!! I forgot this one!!” About Even if it’s Terrible”

~ Placebo “Pure Morning”
It’s beautiful. It’s poignant. The video will cover you in chills. I still listen to it when I need to conjure a powerful mood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbHkwrGgsoA
(Embedding disabled but you HHAAAVE to watch it. You really do. It’s beautiful.)

~ Reef “Place Your Hands”
Try not to sing and jump along the second time you listen to it. Try. Also, the jumping and splashy water effects are pretty rad, too.

~ Spacehog “In the Meantime”
Love. Lovelove. It’s part of the 90’s canon as far as I’m concerned. It moves my heart. It makes me want to dance and love people. I love it. Have I mentioned that?

~New Radicals “You Get What You Give”
I’m glad they made their money and got out of the game before it stunted them; that’s admirable. I saw them open for the Goo Goo Dolls and they were tons of fun. Highly recommended.

~ Local H “Down to the Floor”

It’s like they were allllmost sad enough to be Grunge but noooott quite. I think that’s what I liked about them, actually. Also, I’ll take any reason to scream “COPACETIC!!”

~White Town “Your Woman”
Nobody had any idea what the song was about and nobody really figured anything out from the video. But it’s still got an amazing sound.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVL-zZnD3VU
(Embedding disabled)

~ Tripping Daisy “I Gotta Girl”
I’ll be shocked if anyone can remember this one. Because it’s trippy.

~ Harvey Danger “Flagpole Sittah”
Remember when everyone thought they were going to be the new hot shit like Supersonic (”closing time”) or Eve 6 (ugh… that “heart in a blender” song killed me from the start) or Marcy Playground (why they had a hit was beyond me) and, instead they only got into a preview for some Katie Holmes movie and then they were out?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBgmC_USeoM
(Not the actual video but is the actual song)

~ Barenaked Ladies “Brian Wilson”
Before “stunt” came out, they were actually a fantastically genius college-y band (I normally don’t even like college-y) whose songs were amazing and whose concerts were the funniest damned things I’d ever been to. And LISTEN to that jam session/piano solo at the end. Daaaaaamn. (If you gt a chance, listen to their “Rock Spectacle” album. It’s pretty amazing.)

~ Dishwalla “Counting Blue Cars”
With sounds and lyrics like this I really thought we’d be watching them for a while. Ah well. Lines from this song are still among my favorite lyrics. (Also, this video might be THE MOST 90’s of the ones posted here.)

~Primitive Radio Gods “Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth with Money in my Hand”
I just wanted to meet the soul brother wailing in the background; screw that wussy lead singer.

~Cowboy Mouth “Jenny Says”

NEVER a more energetic band to watch. Music = meh. Concerts - YYYYYYYYEAAAAAHHH!

~ Soul Coughing “Circles”
I laughed at every one of my friends who bought this terrible album. Because if this was the best song they could pick from the list, that’s bad. Bad bad.

(Not actual video. And not really worth your time.)

~ Whitest Kids You Know “Freak of the Week”

It never “spoke” to me or anything. In fact, I didn’t even really like it. But I thought about it and did the “Awww” thing anyway. So here we are.

~ The Verve Pipe “Freshmen”

Don’t act like you don’t remember. I actually saw them in concert the summer that that song was huge. They had a couple good ones but they all pretty much sounded the same. So it goes…

~ Shawn Mullins “Lullabye”
I’m not going to say I loved it and I always thought the singer was whoa pretentious, but my heart hurt for the girl in the song for some reason and I may just always remember that. Or equate it with that time of my life. Or something.

~ Fastball “The Way”
I’m not a fan but my hubs loved them, so this is for him.

~ Caroline’s Spine “Attention Please”
Anybody remember this? Anybody?
This is not the official vid ’cause I couldn’t find it. They might’ve been that small of a band

~ Sister Hazel “All For You”
This may belong in the “Mediocre 90’s music” category but, if Soul Coughing made this list, then so does this one:

And, finally,

~ The Verve “Bittersweet Symphony”
Because we all know we enjoyed it but it still comes up too much in pretention to be sincerely appreciated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx3m4e45bTo&feature=related
(Embedding disabled)

Monday, March 23rd, 2009 | Author: Castallare

I get “tagged” to do these time-wasting meme’s all the time, but I actually like this one and think it fits well on this particular blog. So here we go. Feel free to join in:

25 Albums

Think of 25 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years.
These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that musically shaped your world.

In vague/rough order of importance:

Ten - Pearl Jam

I don’t think this one needs any real in-depth description being that my ever-present love of the band has to be exhausting to those who don’t share my enthusiasm. However, while this particular album is a given in my personal list, I’ve found that different songs land in different areas in my life. “Even Flow” was the first song I ever heard by the band, sitting mesmerized on my couch while “illegally” watching MTV while my mother was out of the house and not yet realizing the effect that moment would have on the rest of my life. The morning after I lost my virginity some nine years ago, I climbed into my car to go home and “Black” was the first song that played from my stereo, so I always associate that song with that time in my life. “Once” reminds me of the first time I saw Pearl Jam in concert (2004) because I pretended not to know the words and my bee-eff-eff promptly gave me Incredulous Stink Eye. 

 Elton John Live in Australia with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra

My old standby. When I was two years old, my father kept me up late one night to watch this concert when it was aired on HBO. Since then, ‘Your Song’ has been our song (which is why I began sobbing the first time I heard him singing it to my daughter once when he was rocking her to sleep. I’m such a sap.) and he’s constantly kept it around in his car along with a handful of his other staples. The whole album is beautiful, actually, even if you don’t like Elton John and the arrangements are staggering. There are many of E.J.’s hits on the album that I don’t like the original recording of simply because of the way they were performed with this symphony. It’s honestly one of the most underrated albums of all time. (I’m saying Top 3)

William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet Soundtrack - Various Artists

I somehow managed to receive this CD from my 8th grade crush, although I’m not sure how considering we never actually dated and there was no Secret Santa exchange to speak of that I can recall. However, that entire winter I remained engulfed in the compilation, often playing the soundtrack on repeat for weeks. That January, I went with my family to Snowmass, CO and listened to the darkly-romantic CD on the four-ish (maybe 6-ish?) hour drive from Denver to Aspen. Even now when I listen to Radiohead’s incredible “Talk Show Host”, I am taken back to the frigid Colorado countryside, how it looked so barren and lonely at night and how it seemed like a perfect rendering of my sad, lonely, adolescent heart. 

“I want to be someone else so I’ll explode.”

 Demon Days - Gorillaz

Perhaps the most frustrating argument from this music fanatic’s perspective is the ignorant notion that Gorillaz is simply a hip-hop/rock fusion band based on the 5 singles that have graced the American airwaves. ::: Sigh ::: Being that the general public of America has absolutely no idea who Damon Albarn is (or what the name of his most successful band was… or more than two of their songs…) and even less of a concept regarding his massive influence on music in the last 15 years on a global scale, it is far past fruitless to try to engage a casual listener into a riveting discussion pertaining to the genius of the virtual group better known as Gorillaz. Frankly, I could go on for weeeeks (and have, actually) discussing the various levels of innovative genius found in the Gorillaz project, from the marketing of four fictitious characters in order to cloak Albarn’s countless collaborations which create the whole soul of the “band” (freaking GENIUS, I say!), to the unbelievable risks these collaborators take in their musical ventures, bridging genre gaps and melding sounds with more success than we’ve seen since the arrival of Beck. 

However, being that I don’t want to spend the next month composing a thesis on the matter, I’ll take this back to a personal level. I bought the ‘Demon Days’ album the minute I arrived back in the States in 2005. After my initial delirious rapture in being introduced to every single track, I found myself obsessing about analyzing each track, dissecting every sound and deciphering every artistic choice. I even bought the vinyl LP (from the record shop in Athens, GA where the album’s producer - Danger Mouse - got his first job! Danger Mouse, by the way, is one half of the recent musical phenomenon Gnarls Barkeley. But I digress.) The whole album is just staggering in it’s beauty and complexity and real, genuine power. I felt absorbed by all of it, especially the last two tracks which are a combined gospel-style medley of two of the most inspirational, perspective-altering, heartrending songs I’ve ever heard (as performed with Albarn and the London Community Gospel Choir. Not. Even. Credible.) They’ve become my anthem during my darkest hours and in my most depressed episodes, I’ve found myself repeating segments of the chorus.

“Turn yourself round, don’t burn yourself, turn yourself. Turn yourself around to the sun.”

 OK Computer - Radiohead

Alas, I was the weird kid on my 9th grade trip to NYC who bought the weird album by that weird British band with the weird music and the weird faces. (This, of course, was four years before we’d all go off to college where every other dorm room was plastered with ‘Kid A’ posters and Thom Yorke’s effervescent moaning seeped out into every hallway.) And from the moment I put the CD in my Discman, I was madly in love. Every song resonated in my soul, every sound released something in me I’d never been able to identify, every movement controlled my emotions like marionettes. Even to this day, I consider it a special day when I can lose myself in the entirety of OK Computer. (Kid A coming in as a close second, by the way, although, despite the fond memories of cutting school to purchase this album and listening to it in a McDonald’s parking lot, the haunting melancholy of the album is what comes over me the most when I regard it. Brilliant, though! And not as pretentious as Sigur Ros…. stupid emo kids and their made-up language.)

 Tommy: Motion Picture Soundtrack - The Who

Oh, like you’re totally surprised. After seeing the movie, I just cannot get into the original ‘Tommy’ album as recorded long before the film was considered. I know. It’s practically sacrilegious and painfully shameful for any decent Who fan. I don’t give a crap what any critic or fellow musician says (Liam Gallagher, I’m talking to your drunk ass…), I think the movie - while rough in spots… namely Eric Clapton’s ridiculously bad scene - was nothing short of genius and every single actor and guest star was absolutely brilliantly cast. Tina Turner was a riveting, insane Acid Queen, Elton John was a hilariously, stoically arrogant Pinball Wizard and Ann-Margret was one sexy drunken psychopath. Love. 

 The Best of - Jimi Hendrix 

I was a bit of a late bloomer with the psychedelic era, but once I found it I was hooked.

Mmmm.. The summer of 1999. I bought this album only knowing one song on the whole thing and found myself listening to it every single night on my way to sleep while I was working at a summer camp in the mountains of North Carolina. I couldn’t get the wailing riffs and haunting melodies out of my head for a second and I enjoyed the significant rush I got during “All Along the Watchtower.” Jimi Hendrix’s band was aptly named as even in his recordings, he is still an all-encompassing experience.

The Grand Illusion - Styx

Another one from my dad’s timeless rotation, this one reminds me of roadtrips to the beach when my dad would take me with him for a whole week each summer. (He used to commute here weekly from our home 2 hours away.) Just me and him. Doing anything I wanted to do. This album was our soundtrack for many years. 

 Odelay - Beck

This album came out my 8th grade year but I didn’t fully embrace it until my freshman year of high school when I listened to it with my then-BFF and tried to learn the absurd lyrics. Even today, this album stays in my car for immediate access and it is impossible for me to hear any song from it at any time in any location without involuntarily squealing in delight. It’s absurd, it’s revolutionary, it’s simple, it’s brilliant, it’s non-categorical, it’s timeless. It’s perfect.

Debut - Bjork

Hey, I just wrote about this one the other day. Summer after high school graduation when I ran around town every night dancing with the illegal Irish immigrants who come to the beach every year for summer work. I painted watercolor and laid on the beach and wore slightly more risque attire than I’d ever dared and it was a really wonderful time even though it was extremely short-lived. I accredit Bjork’s first attempt at a solo career to helping to nudge my self-exploration along and fueling  this new sense of creativity that seemed to emerge overnight. Her music inspired me to step out of my expectations and traditions and think differently for a change, without worrying about the end result. She’s continued to do that in the years since, but this specific album is where I retreat when I want to get back to that mindset of great possibility. 

Tenacious D - Tenacious D

I bonded with my best friend over the humor and harmonies of this album. No matter how unbelievably immature and utterly pointless the D’s array of tracks may seem, their inherent genius and incomparable musical talent peeks through the penis jokes and is ultimately what keeps me coming back to them year after year. Although the music on their movie soundtrack far outweighs any on their debut album, the latter has much more sentimental value for me. 

Big Calm - Morcheeba

Sure, it sounds like late-20th century hippie porno music, but after seeing them perform at Lilith Fair, I was hooked on their sultry sounds and incense-laden sensuality. This album is the best of the band’s, unfortunately, but it’s still one of my favorites for a mod-style, chilled out evening.

 Aha Shake Heartbreak - Kings of Leon

When I first arrived in Australia, one of the FIRST questions one of my housemates asked me was whether or not I listened to the Kings of Leon. When I got home I immediately bought Aha Shake and plunged headfirst into the gloriousness of these emaciated brothers’ sound. They honestly began to give me hope for the future of rock music and moved in me something I hadn’t felt from music since I was first listening to the earliest of grunge. Now, my Aha Shake album has been autographed by the band from when I snuck back to their tour bus after watching them perform with Pearl Jam, which naturally enhances my passion for the band. The album however, is tangible evidence of my realized hope in our generation’s musical future.

 What’s the Story Morning Glory? - Oasis

I wrote an essay about this album, too, about a year ago. 7th grade I remember hearing “Wonderwall” for the first time and feeling my heart undulate with the slow cello progression. The whole album escorted me through the tumultuous-yet-trite years of my earliest adolescence and allowed me a place in which to burrow away from the loneliness and heartache of experiencing a Christian, small-town America as a liberal girl totally unaware of any worth she may possess. Some songs let me cry, some let me dream… it was a nice reprise. 

In the last year I repurchased this album from having misplaced it over the years. It landed right in that familiar spot in my heart and I felt an incredible release, unlike anything  I’d been able to feel in years of therapy and meditation. 

 Celebrity Skin - Hole

I kinda missed the Hole boat when they were first on the scene (probably due to my mother’s frantic attempts to keep me away from the grunge scene… She threw out my Nirvana Unplugged album and, later, my Morrissette Jagged Little Pill. Sigh…) but at the end of my freshman year of high school I was suddenly in love with C.Love and her incredible lyrics. Sure, I loved the train-wreckery and discarded glamour and shameless self-promotion of the rock goddess, but, initially, I was set alight by her words and sounds. I wanted her confidence, her lyricism, her talent, maybe even a little of her fame. I’ve since become an all-out Courtney fanatic but this album and it’s anthems have been a central grounding point for my life in the last decade. I can still listen to the Celebrity Skin album from beginning to end and feel every single song, no matter where else my mind may be at the time. 

 Yield - Pearl Jam

Alright, yes. There are two Pearl Jam albums on here. So effing sue me, alright? Jeezum. You’re lucky I don’t have more from Pearl Jam or The Who or Radiohead, but I kept myself cool and tried to limit my entries, so the importance of the band wasn’t misconstrued, but the works that most effectively influenced my life were mentioned.

Twister The Motion Picture Soundtrack - Various Artists

Say what you will about the rather tragic movie, the soundtrack is one that I’ve replaced in my arsenal despite having misplaced it three times.  While there are a couple seriously unlistenable tracks from the likes of Shania Twain and other country-blechks, the bulk of the album is pretty great, including a “new” Van Halen track, a harder Goo Goo Dolls song, a quirky-yet-fun Red Hot Chili Peppers ditty, a brilliant Tori Amos piece and an amazingly lovable performance by the crowd-of-weird-hippies pleaser Rusted Root. I listened to it on repeat the summer of 1998 as I travelled with a group of high school peers across the country on a 3,000 mile Wild West road trip/tour. It’s safe to say the album always taps back into that exact era.

 Midgets with Guns - Pain

Easily the most underrated band that’s ever been ignored by mass media, Pain is a brilliant fusion of ska and punk (two genres I don’t usually gravitate to) with hilarious lyrics and an incredible sound. I remember driving back and forth to college during my freshman year and singing loudly, with reckless abandon along with the excited, fun-loving energy of the whole album. It’s like an ice-cream cone and a trip to the fair for my soul.

 Rock Spectacle - Barenaked Ladies

Ehhhhhn. This one is a bit hard for me to talk about, but it’s imperative to an honest, complete list. Basically, I spent 7 of my first 22 years involved in a toxic on-again-off-again relationship. While the relationship had it’s good times, none were as innocent, emotionally abandoned, and intoxicating as the first few months we were together. (So yeah, I guess we spent the rest of the time chasing the white dragon in a sense.) I loooooved this album of BnL’s that was released just months before their explosion into mainstream radio and was prone to listening to it to the point of exhaustion. Some of the tracks are absolutely incredible (”Brian Wilson” being one of those.) Anyway, this was the CD I was listening to when I let this young man share a headset with me. This lead to hand-holding and light caressing and an eventual kiss that kicked the whole thing off. One of the songs on the album was considered “ours” and it was beautiful even though it was written from the first-person perspective of a suicidal window-washer. (Heh. Irony.) 

Anyway, after the years of turmoil and pain, I’m no longer able to listen to the album for fear of being yanked back into that insane emotional upheaval. Which is a shame, really, because it really is an amazing album. I kind of consider my relationship with that album an analogy to the relationship I had with myself during that time and how that specific relationship distorted my ownership of self in general and is responsible for a lot of my lost innocence and cut-and-dry perceptions of relationships and personal vulnerability… 

…Or it could just be a CD.

 The Score - Fugees

This is going to sound racist although I absolutely don’t mean for it to. In my 7th grade year I was good friends with a lot of the black kids that went to my jr. high. Where I grew up there was real integration and everyone seemed blissfully unaware that there were supposed to be flaws in our differences. Only when I started high school and moved a couple hours south was I told that there was something socially weird about associating with people of different races. This was the first time I heard racial slurs (seriously, at 14) and saw a long-seeded sense of segregation that kept people away from each other and I simply couldn’t understand it.

Anyway, this album came out in the midst of my jr. high experiences and holds a great fondness in my heart, not only for it’s musical genius (it’s an unbelievably great album) but for the innocent friendships I had without the societal injustices and disappointments I would soon encounter. 

 Surfer Rosa - The Pixies

You know that side of yourself that’s a little insane? That has lilting, uncertain realities and brash, unsettling thoughts where your cracks aren’t just showing but are, in fact, leaking and molding around the edges? Yeah, that’s what this album let me tap into and learn to embrace for the first time. I like the crashing chaos, the real-life awkwardness, the distorted melodies, the screamed lyrics. It’s a catastrophic symphony and is rightfully placed with it’s public acknowledgements and honors for it’s influence on recent music. 

 Surrender - The Chemical Brothers

Heh. Late-high school. Lots of raves, lots of candy, lots of drugs. I remember listening to this album’s whirling sounds while driving late at night from party to party. We were careless, invincible, effing stupid. Maybe not really happy, but certainly having fun.

 

—-

I know, I’m short by three, but I’ll have to pick this up later. I’ve spent WAY too much time involved with this little literary practice. 

….. Jeezum, that took forEVER.

Category: Confessions, Uncategorized  | Tags: ,  | 2 Comments
Saturday, December 13th, 2008 | Author: Castallare

You ever have one of those songs that just turns you on no matter how many times you play it? I have a number of them on respective mix CD’s for when I need to conjure certain powers, like my “Going Out” Mix or my “Pissed and Meaning It” Mix or my “Sad Because it’s not the 90’s Anymore” Mix or my “Drag Queen” Mix or my “Going Onstage” Mix (that one’s old).

However, (and I’ve said it before about this song) I don’t know exactly what mix CD to put this one particular song on, and I don’t even freaking like the band, so I don’t want to run out and buy any of their stuff (and I’ve even seen them live), but every time I hear Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Posess Your Heart”, I sort of lose my mind.

I don’t necessarily like the lyrics, but the music is amazing. The wandering, chaotically melodic piano crashes, the strong-yet-lackadaisical bass that cockily seduces my erongenous areas with boyish playfulness, the glistening guitar notes that remind me of hungover stars on New Years Night… damn, it gets me every time.

… I listen to it on repeat and imagine myself walking through the streets of Chicago in slow motion, my hair blown back by the pounding, freezing gusts that come off the Wabash and sewer grates leaking steam that frames and absorbs my silhouette. I pull my collar around my neck as I walk past a quartet sharing a jazz cigarette and make eyes at the slightly younger bass player, who happens to wear suspenders without a hint of irony.

… I imagine myself primping for my lover in an elegant Parisian boudoir, powder billowing off the puff I use to dab at my chest and floating vicariously out the window into the French evening. I am wearing satin lingerie trimmed with hand-stitched lace that I have put on with care under a vintage silk robe that hangs over the seat of my vanity’s tiny stool. My kitten heels seduce the floor as I walk over to the chaise to gaze out over the city and sip champagne just before he breezes through the door and takes me, my glass shattering as it smashes on the floor.

… I imagine I am riding through the fiery autmnal leaves of the New England countryside in my own classic roadster, wearing only large sunglasses, a blazing red satin cocktail dress that hugs my curves as tightly as I’m hugging the road’s, and diamond-encrusted stilettos that are both elegant and forceful as they alternate pumping the clutch and the gas. My pelvis tightens as I breeze through the winding turns, careful not to careen too far and laughing wickedly as I balance the eternal rush between thrill and danger.

… I imagine I’m a painter working in a studio atop a city skyscraper, painting on canvases the curves of beautiful women who are lounging around the loft while smoking and eating tropical fruit amidst swirls of incense. I am covered in splotches of paint, despite wearing an apron over my grey t-shirt and jeans and my hair and hygiene are a disaster from hours of relentless work. Still, I splash paint across my easel as the bassline pulses around me, driving me forward and the gals giggle and chatter amongst themselves, imploring me to come and discuss literature and art and sex and life with them. Instead, I smile and drag an exhausted forearm across my forehead, while patiently instructing them into their next poses and giggling at the pieces of pineapple they jokingly fling in my direction.

I could go on, but I really should get back to my life here. Looks like it’s back to late-90’s chick rock for me for a while…

le sigh..