Don’t worry; I’m not going to turn this into one of those obnoxious weight-loss chronicling blogs where I whine about my progress every entry and try to convince myself and my readers that raspberry-flavored water is just as delicious as Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk. I’m not even going to take a lot of time to discuss my past and my extensive struggles with my weight and body and self-image all that yackety-schmack that might as well be a scripted daily refrain for American under the age of 60. Gross.

HOWEVER, after 12-ish years of being self conscious and loathing the way I look and gaining and losing the same 30 lbs redundantly (literally about 9-10 times in the last ten years), I’ve surrendered to the notion that I have no discipline to make an actual lifestyle change [versus just "going on a diet"] and I’ve signed up for Weight Watchers.

Le sigh

Even though I’m overweight (this is not news, by the way), the stigma of going to such a stereotypically ridiculous length within the weight-loss industry is more of a punishment than having to shop for 10’s and 12’s. As weird as it sounds, I’m kinda excited about having someone hold me accountable for my actions each week and trying something new that I’m less likely to screw up.

Additionally, I’ve banded together with one of my friends on the West Coast and started a blog community between the two of us to compare notes, send inspiration, track our progress, etc.

The biggest thing for me is going to be maintaining a healthy diet and making healthy choices a part of my daily life. I’ve always been really really great at cutting calories and working out for the purpose of weight-loss, but the second I reach my goal weight, I topple off the wagon and immediately blow back up all over again. And thus the cycle of self-deprecation perpetuates. Ick.

Anyway, I’m not going to delve into how much weight I want to lose or how much I already have or any of the boring details surrounding such. I’ve been working out daily in the hopes of signing myself up for a[n actual] 5k [Stop laughing!] by the end of the year, which keeps me moving forward. After the first week, the daily cardio started feeling rejuvenating and energizing instead of exhausting, which was a definite welcome change. I’m not putting myself on a regimen or a deadline; I’m just trying to push myself a little each day and see how I feel in about 6 months. I think this is healthier than pressuring myself to look a certain way or run a certain speed while I’m first starting off. Maybe after 6 months I’ll restructure my goals, but I’m just focusing on daily progress, which is what’s worked for my sobriety… okay, I’m rambling.

Anyway. Yes. Getting healthier. Signed up for Weight Watchers. Kinda embarrassed about this. Still optimistic.