This Sugar and/or Coffee Scrub business is doing really well. And all of this is very exciting and inspiring because I hadn’t thought anything about it until a few weeks ago and now I’m juggling it along with everything else i do full-time. And sales are great and the potential is huge and this is a perfect time of year to see if it has a place on a niche market and it’s good. I’m grateful. And excited.

The problem with all of this is that it’s um… a business. And I’m about the least business-minded person on the planet. I don’t do well with numbers, I don’t do well with ripping people off for more profits, I don’t do well with keeping up with files and inventory… THIS IS NOT MY FORTE! And I know that this isn’t even a huge business [yet] but it’s busy enough that I’m shopping around for wholesale supplies and setting up meetings with retailers and now I’m having to think about opening a whole extra checking account just for the scrub and what if I have to get a business license and then I’ll have to file taxes and ohmygod I don’t even know how to do basic-normal-people taxes… :::panting:::

I’m really trying not to get ahead of myself. I really am. I’m just making product as it’s being sold, making a few extra to sell while I’m out and about, etc. I’m going to do a small festival next month as a vendor (one of my friends offered me a free vendoring spot to try out my product in a basic-shopper environment) and if that works out then I might make myself a staple at the local farmer’s market this season… and maybe I’ll try to get myself in a couple local shops. But that’s IT for right now. Because if this thing gets huge and I get ahead of myself I WILL implode and I cannot handle that kind of stress at this age because I already have a child and we’re looking to buy a house and I really want to go back to school because making scrubs isn’t my passion and I’d like for it to be a means to achieve my higher goals but if I get swept up in all this then I’ll never do what I really want and I don’t believe in selling out like that even if this has potential to get really big because I don’t think that’s a worthwhile way to spend ones life and… :::panting:::

So I’m just taking this one step at a time. Tonight I will file my paperwork, balance my ledger, ready my packages to make a shipment tomorrow and go to bed. And I will not hyperventilate into a bag again.

(RE: The Title. Name that showtune!)

~ There are two moments in sitcom history that make me cry everysingletime I see them in reruns. The first is when Jack and Karen sing “Unforgettable” in the series finale of “Will and Grace”. The second is episode 424 of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” (’Papa’s Got a Brand New Excuse’) when Will’s father Lou shows up for the first time in 15 years. They bond and decide to turn over a new leaf, Lou (played by the incomparable Ben Vereen) agreeing to let Will travel with him back to the East Coast for the summer. At the very end of the episode, however, Will’s dad bails on him again and leaves the news with Uncle Phil who tells him what a disgusting father he is. This is enough to get the Choke Throat but when Will learns of it he presents this monologue that is perhaps the most moving thing I’ve ever seen Smith perform and easily one of the best moments ever on prime-time television. (Watch the 3-minute monologue HERE. And get some tissues ready. That last line is the nail in the coffin.)

~A reader just told me she missed my prattlings so this is really what this blog entry is about. I’ve been superbusy between this new business prospect Greg and I are fervently collaborating on and working toward, battling this ongoing undiagnosed gastrointestinal problem, studying like a maniac for the GRE (and only feeling dumber by the day, still), running a functioning household, holding down the freelance writing gigs I do have, and trying to talk myself into starting Chloe’s socialization practices (Mother’s Morning Out, playdates, etc.)

I’ve still been writing to my pen pal every week and I’m honestly still enjoying it and our deep conversations. Although we haven’t spoken directly about her specific crime, she has mentioned that a lot of people have sent her hate mail over the years after seeing her listing on WriteAPrisoner.com but she feels the same way I do in that she doesn’t require forgiveness from anyone other than herself, her Higher Power, and those that she has directly harmed. It sounds like, after 7 years in the slammer, she’s really used the resources that the prison does implement to start mental recovery. She’s mentioned that, if anything, the penal system only produces criminals unless the prisoners actively seek out help and reform, which is what she feels is the best expenditure of her time. I admire that. I also really like that she’s not an idiot. I know that sounds bad, but she never graduated from high school, so I kind of expected someone not quite literate or some other shallow preconceived notion of what an unfinished undergrad education would provide [that I realize is horribly wrong of me so there's no need for a preachy commentary.] However, not only is she rather intelligent and self-educated, she’s really into literary criticism and philosophy, which I love! I’ve been looking for someone to indulge my penchant for critical analysis and general bookish nerdiness and that’s something we both share, not having anyone to really compare mental notes with. It’s nice.

Me and Greg are working hard on our new project and hope to launch it in the next 6 weeks. I’ll be sure to start plugging it publicly once we’re on the brink of a formal presentation. Although it’s a bit of a risk and there’s no guaranteed success with it, it’s something we’re excited about simply because we feel like we’re being proactive about our progress and our future and we finally have something that we can work on that isn’t directly dependent on the responses of other people. (Although any business eventually is, it’s not up to other people whether or not we get it started.) Plus, it’s inexpensive and will only cost our time and energy, so this makes it another appealing risk that we can afford to take at the moment. Sorry to be so vague; again, details will come in the next month. I promise.

Somehow, I’m staying busy but still managing to read a new book about once a week, which leads me to highly recommend Christopher Moore’s Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Jesus’ Childhood Friend. First of all, it’s HILARIOUS and, although irreverent mostly, it always keeps the pure image of Jesus intact so there’s never any rewriting of recorded history involved (and, thus, no book burning by crazy Christian fanatics whose faith is threatened by literary musings… idiots…) Like other Jesus fanfiction I’ve read, Moore tries to fill in the blanks of what really happened during those years between 12 and 30 but, unlike the other works (the dreadful version Anne Rice cranked out is what I’m mostly referring to), he never diverted from fact, but really gave Jesus a humanistic character, in that he had the same cravings and feelings of any young man and wasn’t some omniscient being right from the start. Moore also takes the time to make a few little side jokes pertaining to modern cliches and unanswered religious traditions. For example, Christ and Biff spend their adolescence(s?) seeking the 3 wise men who apparently knew that Jesus was something important when he first showed up on earth and trying to get answers about his supposed identity from them. They spend Christ’s 18th birthday with Balthazar, who lives in a fortress with a demon he keeps captive in exchange for eternal life (not relevant to this story) and 8 Chinese concubines (who are fantastic lovers and have hilarious names to coincide. Like the girl called “Keeper of the Three Tunnels of Excessive Friendliness”) who make him a glorious feast of Chinese cuisine. Biff points out that eating Chinese food on Christ’s birthday is a tradition that Jews have maintained up until today. Heh. That’s just clever. So yeah, it’s the best book I’ve read in a longlong time, which was sadly followed by Rue McClanahan’s “My Five Husbands” which is the most boring piece of drivel I’ve ever picked up. (Seriously, it’s like she didn’t even have an editor.)

So that’s the news in brief. Correspondence, perpetual health issues, plans to visit my Gran in a couple weeks, reading, studying, working on secret business mission, writing, researching grants and scholarships for both grad school and this research book I’m still planning to write… You know, the norm.

The Bear is 17 months old this week which means it’s time for another trip to Wal-Mart for ubercheap pro photos to send to family and friends. At the moment she has 2 ear infections (I hope we’re not going to have to get tubes put in,) a disgusting scalp condition that is requiring a steroid cream to treat, and the worse diaper rash she’s seen yet (which really isn’t that bad considering this is only her second.) So between my mental and gastrointestinal prescripts and her various drugs, I’ve been to the pharmacy 3 times in 8 days and I’m sure they’re convinced I’m a hypocondriac. Although aside from prescription buttcream, I HIGHLY recommend Bordreaux’s Butt Paste (that’s the real name) for diaper rashes even though it smells exactly like every Ben and Jerry’s Scoop Shop I’ve ever visited. (Seriously. I don’t know why.)

~ This all brings me to the piece de resistance, which is for me to indulge on my worst guilty pleasure to date: American Idol: Season 8

First of all, even though I wasn’t particularly “rooting” for anyone, I’m really glad Kris won. Not only was he by far the most talented musician, but he brought something new to the show, which was the exercising of artistic talent. I loved his rearrangements of popular classics and really think he’s one of those artists we may be watching for a while. Granted, I don’t really get into the whole Jason Mraz/Jack Johnson/Ben Harper acoustic-sensitive-guy thing so much (I tried. I really did. I just can’t. After DMB’s “Crash” I just lost interest. I need rock. All the time.) so I won’t probably won’t be buying his albums, but I think he has great potential to turn that genre on it’s ear. And that’s exciting. Also, while Adam Lambert is fun to watch and/or look at, his need to shriek his high-note talent at the end of every song like it’s a freaking magic trick is going to get really old. Plus, he really didn’t do anything too different to compete with Kris’ arrangement talents and, the one time he did, it was kind of boring. I will say, however, that his finale show with KISS was b’dass and I was totally enrapt during the whole performance. It’s amazing someone could make KISS fun and relevant again, if only for a few minutes.

The other unsung performance of the finale show was Cyndi Lauper and Allison “The Latina Kelly Clarkson” Iraheta doing a beautiful rendition of “Time After Time”. And who knew Lauper could rock a dulcimer?! She wins bonus bonus fanpoints from me.

And then, of course, there was Nick Mitchell “Norman Gentle”’s unexpected return to the Idol stage, which sent me off my seat in excitement. Sure, the boy’s only got one song that’s worth a damn, but I think he’s genius for having the balls to take a comedy-based fictitious character/performance art piece to a pop-oriented show like AI. I hope to God he gets some gigs and starts running the cabaret circuit. I’d buy tickets to any show he books anywhere close to the Southeast.

The rest of it was just kinda “meh” for me. I don’t like Rod Stewart at all, but watching him drunkenly stumble around was interesting. And Greg and I do a great rendition of Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long”, so it was fun to treat ourselves to that. And that was about it.

In 2009, I’ve decided to quit holding myself back. This habit is extremely long-seeded and is an every-single-moment-type meditational process. I’m so used to second-guessing and thwarting every single action that I take that I’m having to slowly coax myself through each day, internally encouraging every decision I make and constantly repeating the mantra “Push things forward.” From getting on the treadmill to spritzing a new perfume that seems too flirtatious for how I view myself, I’m pushing myself to step outside my comfort zone. On day 4, it’s already starting to seem easier.

Aaaaanyhoo, it seems I’m enthusiastically plunging forward with creating my Yum in the Tub Scrub business and I’m getting excited about making this my side project for this year. I don’t hope my line becomes the next Blue Q or anything, but I’d like to make a couple thousand every year selling my product online and in boutiques in the area. (And if Oprah wants to feature me on her Favorite Things episode, then so be it.)

I’ve loved preparing this project alongside Greg, who’s an expert in marketing, designing packaging and other aspects of commercial graphic design I couldn’t begin to understand. Every night for the last couple weeks, we’ve worked on banging out web advertisements (like those seen at MBRN.com), print advertisements (like those I’m hoping to get into Bust Magazine by the end of 2009), labels for regular jars, labels for sample jars, packaging for shipments, business cards, promo stickers, new webstore layouts, etc.

The thing is, when we’re collaborating, it hardly seems like work and we find ourselves sitting up for hours working on photo editing and designing other things for around the house and in our personal lives. In fact, at the moment, we have a few side-projects going that we eagerly get to every other evening or so. Who knew I’d actually think it was nice being able to work with one’s spouse creatively? Hunh…

However, as my list of Things To Do for the Business piles up, I’m starting to get overwhelmed. What do I know about pitching a product and creating retail price packages? I don’t know anything about taxes! I don’t know how much I should charge for a sugar scrub in a market where people are literally selling homemade bubble bath in schwanky boutiques for $36!! (In South Carolina! Can you believe it!?) Suddenly, my small side project has taken on new life. I’ll need printed labels and shipping materials and should I apply for a business loan or a business credit card and where should I get my wholesale products from and should I go ahead and stock up on supply or wait until I have an actual buyer and should I be taking small-business classes over at the local tech school or just kind of wing it and should I jack up my online prices if retailers choose to sell my product for double my online price!??!? I’m up until 2 a.m. these days making lists of materials and expenses and things to get done and then, of course, the lists of the lists so I’m staying on top of everything.

The hope is that once all my overhead planning is out of the way, that my business will be able to run like a well-oiled machine where I can provide retailers with product monthly and introduce new products gradually, perhaps once every six months when I’ve had some time for R&D. But right now? It’s turning into a lot of work having to do with numbers and contacts and graphs and learning about business and paperwork.

And somehow, despite all this discomfort and uncertainty, I’m getting more excited about my tiny business every day. This is a good feeling.

YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I made a sale! Already! Woo-hoo!

That is all.

More Shameless Plugging of My New Product