Strangely I do feel like, since I turned 27, my life has been “preparing” itself to go into Phase II, as astrology tends to suggest it will around my 29th birthday [later this week]. When I look back across my writings in the last two years, I’ve found that I’ve finally let go of and [finally effing] grown from the many things that plagued me for most of my life up until now and, through this, I learned a whole new level of love and forgiveness and (holyshit!) self-acceptance and, thus, have come to a plane of contentment and general existence I would’ve found inconceivable ten years ago. It’s nice. I’m a fan.

However, while I am, traditionally, prone to wax sentimental and philosophical and reminiscent (you know; you’ve seen),  I’m mostly just enjoying this moment of stasis; I’ve reflected all I need to and wrung meaning out of every possible event that shaped the life I have right now. I’ve confessed and apologized and made amends and cleansed and detoxed the shit out of what was set in motion years and years ago. A part of me is a bit hesitant to admit pride or even comfort in where my soul presently is, but, dammit, I’ve worked hard and mentally beaten my soul to a pulp to get here, to this place of quiet acceptance, deliberation, anticipation and joy. Finally, I don’t need to spend any more time looking back. I’m at a place right now where I’m ready to spring forward and, truly, this is the first time I’ve ever dared to say that… invite my Higher Power to call me, if you will.

In my yoga class, we’re studying Vinyasa technique, which includes giving a great sigh at the end of a chapter or cycle in your life, to mark its end and the beginning of a new venture (I’ve found myself doing these after I’ve found a parking spot in the last busy shopping season.) I feel safe giving a great sigh now.

I feel safe.
I feel loved.
I feel loving.
I feel joyful.
I feel grateful.
I feel like I am part of my world.
I feel ready.

Welcome back, Saturn.