Alright, look, this wasn’t meant to be a pitch so much as a brief reader-friendly update but basically I’m working full-time trying to get this sugar scrub (now coffee, too!) company off the ground a little for the holidays.

I know, it sounds like I’m doing a lot between the writing and the sex-toy-selling and then this whole thing but a few weeks ago I got an email out of nowhere that a buyer for a spa in the mountains of NC was interested in buying my product and keeping it on her shelves. Elated, I made her a giant batch and updated my etsy.com page (since that was where she found me and if there were others like her out there I didn’t want to run them off with my lack of professionalism.) I had about 14 extra lying around and talked about them at a party I went to back in Myrtle Beach, expecting to sell one or two (maaaybe) the whole time I was there. Not only did I sell every jar I took with me, but I even took a few orders. So it seemed to me that maybe the Universe was giving me a heads-up on this one and so I’m kinda focusing on that for right now. I’m not hoping to turn this into a million-dollar company, but a few extra bucks for Christmas wouldn’t be bad.

So in the last 2 weeks I’ve made about 4 dozen different scrubs, developed brown sugar and coffee blends, taken and edited some more professional-looking photos, bought adspace on Facebook and etsy’s showcases and run myself ragged trying to find wholesale dealers of my supplies. (In the meantime, I’ve been making do with retail prices. Oooowwww.)

But look how adorable it is!

I wish it was edible... soooo much.

So anyway, it’s something that’s kinda taken off and is doing really well at the moment, which I honestly did not see coming at all. I’m going with it but this is not leaving me copious amounts of ramble time. Each jar requires me to handmake the scrub (hooray Cuisinart!) and scoop it in, dunk the jars in boiling water to melt off excess scrub from the exterior, print out the customized labels and Mod Podge them on, cut ribbon and tie around a wooden spoon to be tied around neck of jar. And THEN I have to hand-wrap each one extensively in bubble wrap that still doesn’t guarantee a shatter-proof delivery. If this somehow takes off I’m going to have to start commissioning friends to come create an assembly line in my kitchen.

So yes. Everything else is good. The Bear will be two in four weeks. I don’t have time to pontificate about why that’s scary and wonderful and magical and saddening all at the same time, but hopefully I’ve provided my consistent readers with enough material that they can glue the pieces of my overused language together to figure out what I’m probably going to drivel on about. (And, if that’s the case for you personally, remind me that I totally owe you dinner for patronizing my writing/rambling. Seriously, that’s cool of you.)