This is me with nothing to say but still feeling the need to write something. I’ll indulge with ramblings about self/pop culture/Burning Man/etc. Feel free to abstain.

~ Donald Duck has always been my favorite of the original Disney characters from the time I was a small child. This still has nothing to do with the fact that I loathe it when people try to emulate his voice. It always sounds unintelligible and just ridiculous.

~ I’ve realized that anything Nick Park is behind I’m pretty much automatically going to adore. Aside from the Wallace and Gromit productions, “Robbie the Reindeer” and “Shaun the Sheep” are just infectious with clever joy.

~ If leprechauns are so worried about people stealing their pots o’ gold, why don’t they invest it or spend it or something? Perhaps their fighting-Irish Napoleon Complex is only satiated with the knowledge that they have great wealth in a tangible form. The ego associated with material things, I guess.

~ I’ve got to learn to let go of my control issues. After hours of watching children’s television, I’ve realized that I am completely incapable of watching any cartoon without becoming frustrated in the inconsistencies and plot holes. (Honestly, though, how can Squidward’s house become flooded or tears be visible if Spongebob lives under the sea?!?)

~ After a few weeks with this writing course, it’s become evident that I blow as a writer unless I’m talking about myself. Fan. Tastic.

My professor is very encouraging but I still feel insecure when he says things like “Once again, you’ve made a stellar effort.” I know I’m working my ass off to push myself but that doesn’t mean I’m producing anything worthwhile. I don’t need praise for my effort, I just want to know that I’m not sucking in this genre.

I don’t know. The one short story I wrote for the fiction writing class I was in a few years ago that I thought was absolute garbage and was fully expecting to be mercilessly criticized for was awarded the unofficial Blue Ribbon of the semester. (The professor - a nationally recognized author - actually sketched a little one on the final draft. I kept it after all these years because it makes me smile.) So I get that all art is subjective but if I hate what I’m producing I feel really unethical accepting any sort of praise for it or trying to submit it to competitions, etc. Somehow being awarded for something I don’t stand behind feels like lying to me.

(The same thing happened with some photography I submitted to the student literary journal that last semester of undergrad. The piece I thought was my all-time best work wasn’t even published while the one piece that took the smallest effort, wasn’t that visually appealing and was honestly about to be left at home won a freaking award.)

~ The Gosselin parents are sad, pathetic people with personalities of white bread toast. Why is the media so fascinated with yet another crumbling marriage between two people who exploit their children for money? Why are we giving them any more attention or justifying/perpetuating their chosen “career” any more than we have to? And why hasn’t someone at least told Kate that her hair is unforgivable? (There; that was my superficial snarkiness coming out.) And why are these women latching onto and publicly fighting over Jon for “fame”? Really, he’s not attractive, he’s clearly just having a textbook mid-life meltdown and he’s not famous so much as highly publicized so the whole thing won’t have mattered in six months and they’ll have wasted their 15 minutes on that. Ew. (Oh, there it was again.)

~ Every year during this time I get a little down because I’m missing out on Burning Man for yet another session. It’s one of those things I’ve longed to attend for years and years now but never had the money or the time to make the drive and set up camp. I have a friend who has gone for about 5 or six years now whom I visited in Berkeley. While there, she took me to a warehouse in Oakland where a bunch of Burners live in little makeshift apartments and work on art all day. They were scheduled to have a party that night but, because it was so cold, we ended up just standing around a trashcan bonfire and chatting about various life experiences. Still, though, just being around all this incredible, innovative art (including the famed Dr. MegaVolt!) and these people who just live out these wild, pronoiac fantasies was awe-inspiring. Then, a couple years ago, I spent a while in Asheville, NC, helping an amazing performance artist I’d met at a folk art show get ready to make the long trek out there. I helped him wrap up some huge projects, like a random spiritual-and-philosophical-beanbag-toss game where the rules and challenges were subjective but always rewarding. He also has this unbelievable art car he’s transformed from an ambulance that he uses along with his stage show in which he discusses and pontificates about absurdist philosophy under the alias Mister Doctor Professor. We also spent a lot of time building a tent that could entertain masses as well as weather the daily sandstorms that blow up at the festival. And I loved every minute of it.

I know these kinds of people are few and far between and are usually the ones who are laughed at or mocked by the larger, consumerist society and I also realize that in my saying that it makes me into a TheMan-fighting cliche but I really, honestly, do not care. These Burning Man-like events and are just things you do for the sole purpose of enjoying life and exploring your own mind and pushing your limitations and/or concepts of joy, communication and creativity. These are the types of people who excite and inspire me more than any other, even if I can only watch from a distance.

So during Burning Man week I always feel a bit of longing to be out enjoying the insanity and all-night partying and unbelievable art projects (the 55-foot long, electronic, metal, flaming Serpent Mother built by the Flaming Lotus Girls in 2006 is one of my absolute favorite works of art of all time) and the insane contests (from the obscene and vulgar to the absurd and family-friendly) and just all of it. I hope it’s still going on when I finally have enough money and time to go.

This year, however, I’m going to try to refocus my energy to tapping in to the positive vibes Burning Man generates. Certainly such a large convening of ecstatic minds in celebration has to emit some incredible rifts in the global energy. I want to be a part of that somehow. Maybe I’ll paint something…

~ This morning I was enjoying my weekly cup of Decaf Hazelnut Creme coffee when the Bear started clamoring for a taste. Figuring she’d hate it, I gave her a sip to which she replied, “MMMMMMM!” and then began reaching for more. After a few minutes fruitlessly attempting to fend her off, I decided to put a tiny spoonful in a sippy-cup of milk, like a baby latte that would actually have some nutritional benefit. Suffice to say that it worked. I just have to make sure this doesn’t become a habit.