I like to casually keep an eye out to see what sort of people are paying attention to me. That may sound incredibly narcissistic but hear me out. I don’t do it out of the need to build myself up or float my confidence on the approval/attention of others or anything codependent or self-loathing in that vein. For me, it’s really just a great source of humor and brings me a good deal of amusement.

For example, I’ve learned that, avoid them or not, there are still some politics that function within Facebook relationships of any kind, apparently. (Gross.) A few months ago, I received a “friend request” from a guy who’s lusted after been a pathetic disciple of been friends with one of my exes for years. Intrigued, I “friended” him but never checked out his profile (he has the personality of a tub of mayonnaise; what’s to learn?) or spoke to him, etc. Noticeably, within a few weeks, he’d “unfriended.” Heh. Interesting.

(To be frank, this particular ex has had a lot of strangeness surrounding him and his Facebook interactions with me, which I find even more hilarious since we’re not “friends” and I never respond to him anymore at all. - Brody, this may sound familiar :::ah-wink!::: - However, because I legitimately don’t care and this person is a separate, extreme case from this entry’s intended thesis altogether, I’m not going to bother delving in. I will say that I am proud of myself, though, for being at a place where it doesn’t anger or bother me anymore. It’s just more vindication and amusement on my behalf. Whee! I’m petty!)

I especially love the “Spy” feature on this WordPress app I have to support this here blog, which I use from time to time to see, you know, who my readers are, where they’re coming from, what Google searches brought them here, etc. (Unfortunately, a huge fraction of my daily hits come from the one post I did about sexy posters. ::sigh:: That one may be coming down.) I don’t use this feature daily or even weekly, but I do enjoy watching my reader base grow and even seeing familiar IP addresses of old friends who only drop me a line every couple months but still take the time to read. (I hope you guys don’t mind me knowing you’re out there.)

But there are a handful of readers that bring me incredible amusement. (Don’t feel embarrassed; nobody else knows you’re here.) There are a few that I see who have gone out of their way yyeeeaars ago (like, 8-12, depending on the person) to tell me that they loathe me and hope I die a horrible, painful death who are still bothering to sniff around. There are others with whom I’ve had lesser relationship intensity that I haven’t spoken to or seen in years who also peruse my painfully self-indulgent ramblings. What’s even more amusing is the frequency of some of these obscure, random acquaintances’ visits and their apparent, intent interest in my day-to-day. While some people may find a former adolescent bully’s daily interest in their life perturbing or frightening, it really just gives me a rush of gloating amusement, especially when I consider that I genuinely don’t give a shit the other way around. (Besides, I’m never scared of Crazy anymore. Perhaps because I arrogantly suppose I can outCrazy anyone, but mostly because it’s not foreign territory to me like it is with most people.) (Oh, and thank you, again, therapy!)

Anyway, not that the notion didn’t exist before the Internet, but it’s become more evident to me as I grow older and technology improves that indeed, all people - regardless of their roles or illusion of sanity - are strange.
To put it lightly.

And funnily, this makes me feel not just “not alone”, but somewhat confident and/or proud in the idea that, even though I’m admittedly strange-bordering-on-occasional-Crazy, I’m not putting up any false fronts about it.