As I’ve discussed before, Chloe loves winding down with two Disney “Sing-Along Songs” videos circa 1986-87. (We’re ordering more because the redundancy is starting to wear on us.) They’re a ton of fun to watch, especially because they highlight some songs that I’d completely forgotten about, my favorites being “A Cowboy Needs a Horse” (you MUST watch it. I just adore it and sing it even when I’m not watching the tape.) and the always hilarious “Three Caballeros” (Note the part where the barrel of the revolver sings at the audience. Ah, to experience the infectious joy of 1945.) Anyway, even after overlooking some of the blatant un-PC behaviors of the classic Disney movies (like the part in “Give a Little Whistle” where Jiminy inhales the end of a pipe and then acts a little drunk or the atrociously bad Chinese stereotypes displayed in the grammar - “where we hearing baby there are milk nearby - and buck-teeth of the Siamese cats in “We are Siamese” or the repeated use of the word “Injun”. WAAOOW.) I still have a number of questions regarding these old Disney movies and a few lighthearted observations.

1) Let’s ignore the fact that Snow White was running for her terrified life through this scary forest all night only to break into a stranger’s house and immediately begin to clean for now. Sure, a bit implausible but it’s imperative to the plot. The Dwarves have this great gig mining for already-cut diamonds and rubies (apparently one can test able their validity by listening to the sound they make when beaten upon with a mallet. Learn something new every day.) but at one point in the song they mention, “Though we don’t know why we’re digging for, we dig dig digga-dig dig.” Alright, so they spend all day mining for massive, impeccable diamonds for no purpose at all except an assumed sense of accomplishment at a job well done. So how are they providing food for themselves? And who’s keeping up the roof on that thatch-roofed cottage of theirs?

~Ahhh, why isn’t there ever any discussion of how hot Davy Crockett was? Because YUM.

Look at that! Rugged, well accessorized, AND classy. Doesn’t get better than that, folks.

~ Okay, Disney’s “Pinocchio” has to be the most terrifying children’s movie ever made. Crammed into 90 minutes, they give us child abduction (although it’s rather passive), exploitation, slavery, and terrified children being turned into donkeys. Screw “Bambi”, this movie has to mess kids up mentally worse than any other Disney production.

However, I will mention that clearly Jiminy Cricket had the jump on this popped collar trend.

Take THAT pink-shirt-wearing frat boy.

~ At one point during their march through the jungle while playing Follow the Leader, the Lost Boys sing, “We’re off to fight the Injuns, because [the Leader] told us so.” Now, that may seem needlessly violent and racist but my question pertains mostly to the fact that it’s John, the eldest of the Darlings, leading the group. So basically Disney is advocating the blind following of any stranger that rocks into town and knows nothing of the social climes - not to mention the geographical landscape. Not promising.

Similarly, although I can dig it, I don’t think many parents appreciated the sentiment that “Everybody Wants to Be a Cat” from the rollicking beatnik musician vagabonds in “The Aristocats”.

~ The “host” of the show is Professor Owl which is really just a bunch of edited and dubbed over clips captured from a 1943 Disney short entitled “Toot, Whistle, Plunk and Boom”. He teaches a class of younger birds on the magic of music and melody but frequently abuses the classroom dunce, who appears in more than one episode and is frequently pounded on the head by the professor’s pointing stick. Um, I’m positive that didn’t do much to teach respect for special ed students.