It used to make me sad when pop culture made fun of dysfunction, primarily of the WASP-y family variety. (And when I say “WASP” here, I don’t mean the literal meaning of White Anglo-Saxon Protestants, I’m referring to the social connotations and stereotypes associated with this sect of people, particularly of the upper or upper-middle class variety.) I first felt this way when I watched “Will and Grace” and they loved to highlight the incredible mental fuckery of Will’s Connecticut-based family who did the stereotypical behaviors of ignoring their children’s unorthodox principles, sweeping blatant conflict under the rug and allowing it to manifest into drinking problems and mental/emotional instability, denying any destructive, self-loathing behavior to live life in perpetual stagnation and misery, and working so hard to keep up with the Joneses and create an ideal appearance that they breed more self-loathing, distrust, empty materialism, etc. Oh, and this was the fine, successful life they encouraged their offspring to embrace and aspire to. The same could be said about the pill-popping Karen Walker character who laughed about her broken marriage and loveless existence by criticizing everyone, spending money wildly, and drowning any hint of emotion in booze. The more I started paying attention, the more I recognized the apparent public appeal of making jokes about privileged, wealthy white people (not all of these people, by the way. Nothing here is ever a complete blanket generalization.) and their insane, destructive behavior that stems from the drive to show of wealth and prestige. And not only this, it was also funny to make fun of the copious antidepressants and therapy treatments we resort to because of this very broken, sick mentality. And on top of that, (and perhaps what makes all this the most absurd) this sort of humor was/is never geared toward outside minorities; it was/is always directed and marketed to the very people who fit the description.

Originally, it seemed tragic to me that family dysfunction was rampant enough to become a public joke that everyone watching could understand and relate to. Had we become so jaded with this comfortable, accepted societal insanity that we were able to gloss over the pain of it and make it yet another important issue we swept under the rug?

And then as I got older and began to see these exact traits and stereotypes within members of my own family (not all of us) and the incredible pain and destruction it caused, I started laughing with the others out there who had stepped outside the brainwashing, became a little introspective and driven toward self-improvement, and didn’t settle for perpetuating any more ignorant, stubborn, emotionally disengaged lifestyles. Elated to be amongst like-minded people who were free of their pasts, I finally got the joke:

If we didn’t learn to laugh at the complete vapid uselessness and the absurdity of what we’d seen and experienced, we’d never ever make it as whole people… if we made it out at all.