Being that I haven’t worn single-digit clothing since the 8th grade, I had a few misconceptions about what it means to be confused as “skinny”. Even though I’ve pretty much been a 10-14 in the last decade, I always had really toned limbs and a tight stomach because I’d work out periodically and I guess I’ve got great genes. When I expanded, everything stayed in proportion and I just became economy-sized, never getting extra rolls immediately and always maintaining the hourglass shape for the most part.

Then, you know, my body went “all Funhouse Mirror” on me (thanks to Peter Griffin for the analogy) with the pregnancy and now things hang a bit differently. Not only that, I’m the smallest and the lightest I’ve ever been in my adult years so it’s kind of like having a completely different body. Now, while I like going shopping for clothes now and experiencing the extra energy and other perks of being at a healthier weight, I’m finding that I’m having to learn a lot of new stuff about skinny people.

Specifically, did you know that skinny people aren’t just magically toned and taut? I swear I never knew that! All the skinny people I knew always had cellulite-free asses and, even if they weren’t ripped, their softer areas hung firmly in place. And then I realized that all the skinny people I know are either dancers or were in their teenaged years the last time I saw them.

:::Sigh::: Dammit. I totally thought I was off the hook. Like, I magically lose weight and then I’m done. Working out is optional and for basic-repair-and-maintenance reasons only (you know, aside from that whole healthy heart thing and increasing life longevity and all that other stuff cardio junkies are raving about.) I thought I’d be able to look hot and only do those leisure-related exercise regimens when I wanted to, like dancing or kayaking or hiking or holding a baby while I go to the pool (THAT’s a workout) or walking on the beach. You know… fun stuff. Now, if I want everything to snap back into place, I’ve gotta work for it? Auuuughh.. When does it end?*

*If you’re going to tell me “never” and that “living a healthy lifestyle is a lifelong journey” or some other Self or Prevention” -esque answer, I’d rather you not. I know, okay. I’m just being whiny.