As the clouds part and the sun spills in over my mind, my home, and my city, I am suddenly wild with hormones I haven’t experienced since my late adolescence. I am a 17 year-old-boy with permission to fondle his first girlfriend, constantly cornering my husband with passionate kisses and general groping, no matter the setting or circumstance.

My husband is both surprised and ecstatic at greeting this new side of me, given that the majority of our relationship has seen my sexual drive stifled, first by my pregnancy and then by the ensuing wave of depression. Finally, I am the quintessential newlywed, fawning and gushing over my husband as though we are only just physically experiencing each other for the first time. I’ve recently spent hours studying the contours of his body, running my fingers through his hair, smiling at the beauty of his physicality and taking time for slow, concentrated kisses and embraces for the first time since we started dating. 

Additionally, with the gradual melting of extra padding from my frame, I’ve become more comfortable showing myself to him and allowing myself the audacity of emitting sexuality. This, naturally, creates a ripple effect through our love life as we move closer together in our intimacy, regaining rhythm and familiarity to each other’s bodies in the aftermath of the exhausting emotional struggles we’ve weathered in the last two years. I hope I don’t jinx myself, but it seems as though all the romantic and functional components of our relationship together are finally synching up as a much-needed reward for all our recent stress. It’s a break that arrived not a moment too soon.

Relaxed siiiiiggghhh…