Castallare ~

~  watches reruns of old shows when she can’t sleep.

~ still can’t fully grasp that she’s a mother.

~ is a brunette despite her best efforts otherwise.

~ guzzles green tea like she’s being paid by the cup.

~ flinches when she remembers mistakes she’s made, no matter where she is or who may be watching.

~ likes the smell of gardenias.

~ hurts when those emails and letters go unreturned for yet another day, after the hundreds before.

~ misses the floating feeling of chemical release.

~ procrastinates.

~ can’t believe how quickly she’s getting older.

~ is afraid that losing weight will make her a smaller person in general.

~ likes sweaters and sacred hearts and the color green and African elephants.

~ keeps secrets better than she used to.

~ doesn’t regret many things that she’s said in the heat of the moment.

~ spends too much money on mascara.

~ wonders what people would say about her if she were given a “roast”.

~ doesn’t catch fireflies anymore out of personal principle.

~ thinks of him when the wind is strong, even though she tries not to anymore.

~ likes the way she looks in black.

~ gives more than she gets in a lot of instances.

~ whitens her teeth to counteract all the tea and coffee over the years.

~ is distrusting of anyone who claims to have The Answer(s).

~ confesses things she probably shouldn’t.

~ has a thousand ideas daily.

~ loves his nose, his smile, and his kind, clear eyes.

~ smokes one menthol cigarette every six weeks or so and thoroughly enjoys it.

~ feels her heart skip a beat when she sees their names.

~ used to overpluck her eyebrows but doesn’t anymore.

~ wonders what personal reinvention actually looks like… if it truly exists.

~ listens to certain songs on repeat for days and days.

~ may have only seen real beauty a handful of times.

~ envies people more than she should, but never for their possessions.

~ wants to get to know her Gran better.

~ is patriotic again. Finally.

~ has to redefine her agreements in order to move forward.

~ likes the idea of oblivion when she’s not terrified of it.

~ can’t learn or remember math terminology and practices, no matter how hard she tries.

~ lights candles every day.

~ can jump on a pogo stick for hours if needed.

~ listens when people think she isn’t.

~ loves reuben sandwiches and Shirley Temples.

~ wants to live in a third world country and experience real struggle for a change.

~ longs for surprises and romance and excitement and passion more than anything.

~ prefers handwritten letters to any other form of communication.

~ stays up all night some nights, hurting for things she’s lost.

~ is running out of things to say.