Eehhn.

So…

…Recently, I’ve noticed that my new meds are giving me the energy and the courage to follow through on things that I ordinarily would procrastinate on, which is a blessing at first. I’m getting things done! I’m answering phone calls! I’m sponsoring poor kids! I’m bathing! I’m initiating projects (like being Secret Santa for a friend and her kids who live out of town!) And soon I found myself doing those things on my God I Wish I was Insane Enough to Do This list, including a particularly massive “What if?” that’s haunted me since late 2003.

I’ve thought about it. I’ve pondered it. I’ve talked myself out of it. For a solid half decade. And then, early one morning this week, I just freaking did it. Finally.

And this is me freaking OUT while awaiting fallout from The Single Most Insane Thing I’ve Ever Done In My Whole Life.*

Fingers crossed, I won’t get burned too badly and everyone can go about their lives with sanity intact and not too much boat-rocking involved…

*Yes, I plan to be vague about this for as long as physically possible, but, seriously!?!? After all these years? What the hell was I thinking ?!? I must look like one of those deadly loons one reads about on CrimeLibrary.com!! With some sort of unresolved parental/prepubescent/attachment issues or something!! Who does that!? Baaahhh!!… I mean, would it absolutely kill me to leave this life with even one regret? It’s like I won’t let one “coulda woulda” sit in my pocket anymore fer nothin’… for Christ’s sake…